what is really crappy is when you have to fix hamburgers on a grill that is too hot, because your husband from texas (capital of bbq and grilling) put too many coals. then when you finally have time to sit down and eat, everyone is already done, and no one saved you one of those god damned hamburgers that you had to suffer a backdraft for. then you are too mad to eat anything lest you throw up, and you give some really good bacon wrapped hot dogs to your neighbor so you don't have to throw them away.
not that i had to do that or anything...
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
whats really shitty...
is when you get up in the morning, and you hear fluid draining out of your ear, and you are so cold that you put on a jacket.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
my mom sent me this...
"I don't think this applies only to menopausal women...."
Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Woman's Answer: One!
ONLY ONE!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER!!!
I'm sorry. What was the question???
Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Woman's Answer: One!
ONLY ONE!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER!!!
I'm sorry. What was the question???
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